Two

I sorta forgot what "two" was like. It must be some kind of mother amnesia, like forgetting the pain of childbirth and deciding it's a good idea to have a second baby. Honestly, you'd think I'd never forget moments like Max deliberately breaking eggs all over the floor or throwing an epic tantrum at the doctor's office. And yet, dealing with a largely rational three-year-old and a sweet, snuggly one-year-old, I was somehow lulled into a false sense of competence. "I can handle this," I'd think to myself, "What's the big deal? I've totally got this mothering thing down."

If there's one lesson to parenting, however, it's that you should never get too complacent. Just when you think you've got a handle on things, some kid throws up, or attacks the cat, or swears in public, or floods the bathroom at preschool, or asks you how babies get out of your stomach, or (in the case of young Henry) starts pitching fits, beating up his brother, and climbing out of his crib.

Yes, indeed. Henry is a few weeks shy of two years old, and boy does it show.

The tantrums are "interesting." Sometimes he just gets so mad that all he can do is drop to the floor and wail like his life was ending. I mean who wouldn't react this way if mean old mom said something as offensive as, "No. You can't have another banana."

Then there's the violence. Henry has suddenly realized that he doesn't just have to take the sh*t that Max deals out. He, too, can be an aggressor. In fact, much like the last Bush administration, Henry seems to favor a preemptive-strike approach -- sneaking up on Max when he is involved in a book or a puzzle and wacking him on the head with a shovel or plastic power tool. "Ha! Take that, Brother," he seems to say, "I just want you to know who you're dealing with here just IN CASE you later decide you want to attack me." Obviously, I have to discipline this sort of behavior, but part of me can't help but be proud that Henry is coming into his own as a little boy and learning that he's not powerless. (note to my readers -- what's "ok" for a two-year-old is not "ok" for our nation's government!).

As for climbing out of his crib, I guess it was just a matter of time. He's done it three times now. After the first incident, I was in shock when he showed up downstairs when he was supposed to be napping. I told Scott that maybe it was a "fluke" occurrence, but it turns out that kids don't really unlearn these sorts of things. He's done it two more times, but each time it has been when he's ready to get up after a full sleep. I guess I can't really complain about that. The complaints will start if he decides, like his older brother once did, to run around the house for hours when he is supposed to be GOING to bed. Dear God, those were dark months. I guess I better dig the baby gate back out of the garage...

It's not all bad, of course. Henry is talking more and more and making us laugh with his observations about the world, and he is still affectionate and cuddly. He and Max are good buddies most of the time, and it warms my heart to see the two of them climbing together at the park or building pillow forts in the living room. And then there are the unexpected potty-training advances. Honestly, I hadn't even begun to really think about potty training yet and I still don't think we're ready for a full-frontal attack so to speak, but Henry has started taking some initiative on his own. Each night before the boys get in the tub, Max always pees in the toilet. Henry has started saying, "Henry go potty, too!" and he drags the stool over to the toilet and stands next to Max. This tableau of two naked boys at the toilet was adorable in its own right, but then Henry started sadly announcing, "Not working" as he stared down at his penis. So funny! But wouldn't you know it, a few times recently, the stars have aligned and things did work out right down there! Mommy, Max, and Henry have all been excited to see him successfully pee in the toilet on two separate occasions. Mommy, of course, has started dreaming of a time when she shall no longer have to change anyone's diaper or wipe anyone's butt.

Ahhhhh....what a glorious day that will be...