It was a picture-perfect, sunny, summer day and the campus had never looked better. We walked all over the place checking out old haunts and new construction. The whole experience made me surprisingly emotional. On the one hand, I was so excited to be back and to reminisce with Scott about college memories and the early days of our courtship as well as to point out things to the boys ("Look, kids, another fountain!"). On the other hand, I also felt very nostalgic and a little bit sad. Boy has life changed since I was an undergrad at Stanford. I'm a stay-at-home mother of two now, and my life is constrained by the small daily necessities of caring for babies and keeping a home. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and I wouldn't do anything differently, but the stability and sense of calm that I have found as a wife and a mother and a woman approaching middle age (34 years old???!!!) certainly come at the expense of the exhileration and freedom of my college days.
I LOVED being in college. I loved the sudden independence, the fascinating new friends from all over the country, the constant intellectual revelations, the sense of open possibility about myself and my future. Just think -- back then I had nobody to take care of except for myself! My God! The delicious decadence of it!
Clearly, I can't go back to that world, and I wouldn't even if I could. Any day of the week, I'd swap a lecture on T.S. Eliot and a late-night philosophical debate in the dorm for the beautiful faces and warm hugs of my two little boys. But there's always a twinge of sadness in contemplating things lost and left behind, in trading a sense of becoming for a sense of having become.
Henry at Tresidder Student Union
Memorial Church
Max and a Rodin Sculpture
Max walks the wall
Cooling their feet in the fountain outside of Memorial Auditorium
A perfect "Stanford" activity on a hot day
In front of Green Library where I spent SO MANY HOURS!
Scott's Favorite Pizza Place in Menlo Park (yes, it is still really good!)
Max voices his thoughts on Stanford University
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4 comments:
That certainly looked like lots of fun-oh my goodness!
Lovely post, Sue. Life has certainly changed! I feel it too when I'm back at Stanford, even without the two small children!
Oh my goodness, I'm looking at the next generation of Cardinals/trees. And what cute outfits they are wearing! Mom and Dad can grow with them through life.
Yea Dianne, you made it to the blog comments section by yourself. Well done!
Your grandsons are so darn cute.
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